Episode 166: On Living and Dying with Niki DiGaetano

“Death work and applying it to my life ignites my heart in a way that nothing else has before. ”

— Niki DiGaetano

This week, we’re honored to welcome Niki DiGaetano, a death doula from Salt Lake City, Utah, who has dedicated her life to supporting those at the end of theirs. Niki had long felt called to work with the dying, but it wasn’t until a 2022 section hike of the Appalachian Trail that she found the confidence to fully embrace that path.

After her journey on the trail, she told friends, "If I can find work that allows me to listen to people’s stories—the good, the bad, the ugly, traumatic, and triumphant—it would be the truest work of my soul." That realization led her to become a death doula, offering emotional, spiritual, and practical support to those facing life’s final transition.

In this episode, we explore the profound connection between living and dying, the wisdom nature imparts, and how Niki’s time on the trail shaped her approach to compassionate care. Join us for a deep and moving conversation about what it truly means to live well—and die well.

Niki also discusses:

2:00 – What does it mean to be a death doula? Understanding the role and its impact.
4:20 – The journey to becoming a death doula: What it takes and how she found her way.
6:30 – How time in nature and the wilderness shaped her calling.
10:30 – A pivotal moment: When something clicked in her spirit and how it changed everything.
11:40 – How the Appalachian Trail helped her shift from an achievement-oriented mindset to a deeper sense of purpose.
16:30 – Letting go: Was it a single moment or a gradual transformation?
18:00 – The connection between long-distance hiking and working with death—how the Appalachian Trail led her to this path.
21:00 – The origins of her adventurous spirit and how it influences her work.
22:00 – Tracing the roots of her calling as a death doula.
27:30 – Falling in love with death care: What drew her in and why she’s passionate about this work.
30:20 – Does she feel like she’s found her true calling?
32:00 – Life after the trail: What happened when she returned and how it shaped her next steps.
35:00 – Powerful and moving stories from her experience as a death doula.
37:00 – Coping with the emotional weight of the job: How she processes grief and difficult moments.
40:30 – Perspectives on death around the world: What she’s learned from different cultural views.
44:00 – How her own perception of death has evolved through this work.
46:50 – Living fully in the face of mortality: Her advice on embracing life while preparing for the inevitable.
48:30 – Her upcoming book: What to expect and when it will be released.
49:10 – How to connect with her, work with her, and stay in touch.
50:00 – If Hollywood made a movie about her life, what would it be called?